Singleness/Marriage

I received a text from a good friend about the goal of single adult Bible studies:

"A singles ministry is not meant to be an intervention of hopeless, loveless people, nor is it to be a Christian bachelor/bachelorette pad where people are simply to mingle and receive roses.  Seeing to it that all the people get hitched should not be the ultimate goal."

I could not agree more.  I personally do not believe that I am called to singleness, but I believe that singleness is a calling.

Unfortunately, these days a particular view has come upon those in the Church who are single.  They are looked upon as the unlucky ones.  Those poor, miserable wretches!  No one loves them!  He/she seems like such a nice person.  Why can't they find a girl/guy?  For anyone who has thought this, has the thought occurred to you that maybe they should not?  It may be that God is calling that particular person to singleness, either for a time or for life.  There is nothing wrong with that.  Choosing to live, or being chosen to live, as Jesus did (and likely how Paul did) should not be viewed as a failing or something to be pitied.

The Church today is in bad shape in many ways, and one of those ways is marriage.  The divorce rate is up over fifty percent!  50%!!!  That's pathetic!  That is essentially the same as unbelievers, and it makes me sick!  Marriage is sacred.  When you say, "I do," it is for life.  There is only one reason I can see in Scripture that makes divorce acceptable,
"It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’  But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery" (Matthew 5:31-32).  Why does the Scripture suddenly get ignored when someone decides, yes decides, they do not "love" the other person any more?

Understand this:  love is a choice.  God has commanded us to love others.  He is just and good, and He will only command us to do that which it is possible to do.  That means we can choose to love, and that means a spouse chooses to love their spouse.

What about when money becomes an issue?
Did you not promise, "For richer or poorer?"

"If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless" (James 1:26).

The state of marriage in the Church is sad, and it should be a source of shame in all believers.  If you cannot be truthful and steadfast in something like that, why should the unbeliever believe anything else you have to say?

I say all this about marriage for the following reason.

Singleness is not contemptible.  In fact, I believe that more should choose it than do.  The state of marriage in the Church is evidence that at least one of the two people there should have remained single.  It may be that one or both of the people that end up divorced have looked to the other to satisfy them in a way that only God can.  They should have been looking to Him.  They should have been seeking Him, and they should have been seeking Him together!  I don't remember the exact statistic, but the vast majority (somewhere around 90% to 95%) of couples who pray together regularly, stay married, and they are happy in that marriage.

If you are married, you need to be seeking and focused on God in your marriage.  If you are single, you should seek to know whether God would have you get married or stay single.  Both are good, but you need to know which way to go.