Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Questions of Choice and Consequence


Recently, I have felt God wanting me to read through the book of Job.  That is a scary prospect to come to.  At first I willingly obeyed.  I like it when I do that.  I wish I did it every time.  Then a question hit me:  “Why?”  Why does God want me to read Job?  What most people remember about the book of Job is that God allowed all the prosperity of Job to be taken from him even though he was a really stand-up guy, so naturally I quickly start to worry whether God is preparing me to undergo the same thing.  Maybe He is, but as I started thinking about it, a reason much more specific to me started forming in my mind.  I have a problem believing that the blessings of God depend on my actions.  I hate sin.  I despise myself when I fall to it, and I have found myself wondering if I have missed out on some of the good things God had for me in my life because I lusted or spoke in anger.  Marriage is one of those things.  I see most of the people my age married and having children, but that is not something God has given me.  I wonder why.  Is it something I did?  Did I mess it up?

I don’t want to negate responsibility for sin.  It is true that sin can directly keep us from experiencing the blessings of God.  In 2 Samuel 11, David fails miserably.  It is hard to think of a man failing in a worse way.  First he gets lazy and dishonors himself by not going out to war with the men he has sent to the front.  He commits adultery with a woman he has been put in position to protect as her king, and then he conspires against and murders the husband of the woman he violates.  God punishes David as the child conceived in adultery is lost.  Bathsheba also had to live with the death of her child and possibly the fate of Uriah for her part in it.

What I have wondered is if God is holding marriage from me a punishment for my past sin.  This question has tormented me, especially since my ex-fiancĂ©e called off our wedding and has refused to speak to me since that point.  God has allowed me to move passed my relationship with her, the pain of the relationship ending, and the confusion of being left with no real closure, but the question still remains.  Is this a punishment?

I also felt God’s call in a way that leaves no doubt at all in my mind or heart to be up here in Indiana far away from anyone I knew.  I am eternally grateful for those who have become my friends.  It has made more of a difference than they could possibly know.  Yet, it is still hard sometimes to go home to an empty apartment.  Is this punishment?

In light of these questions, the story of Job suddenly makes a lot of sense.  Maybe, these are just the trials that God has for me.  Maybe, like Job, they have nothing to do with the sin I have committed.  It is just the hardship of the calling He has given me.  I told Him that I would go.  I asked Him to use me, and He certainly has.  The joys of this calling are as great as the pains.  It is a calling of extremes, but I have to minister.  I have to be a pastor.  I know the calling He has put on my life, and I would ask for no other.  If I am to be unmarried for the rest of my life, it is a cross I will just have to bear, but maybe it won’t be that way…

Monday, June 11, 2012

Blogging Atheist

This particular post will be a little different from my other posts.

Today I decided to look at a few comments on a blog called Friendly Atheist.  I was curious about a comment I saw him make that I stumbled across during a google search.

I read through a few of his posts and many of the comments given on those posts.  One thing I find quite interesting is that the majority of these posters assume that all Christians are morons and all atheists are extremely intelligent.  Why?  I have listened to very smart people on both sides of the argument, and I have listened to people on both sides who are just not gifted with brainpower.  Does that mean they are less valuable?  No.  Intelligence does not equal value for any person, and just because a person is very smart does not mean they are right on every subject.  Now it is true that an intelligent person, if they have thought through, considered, reasoned, and left emotion out of it, has a better chance of coming up with a correct assessment of what the truth is.  However, I have noticed two pervasive characteristics in the majority of things I have seen atheists write in blogs and forums like these:  anger and arrogance.

Anger, being expressed less than the other, is certainly easier to see.  I saw this more on Panda's Thumb than in any other place.  However, this emotion did not seem to come from the creation vs evolution debate.  It seems to come from anger in being burned by a church.  Now, they could have in fact been mistreated by people who claim Christ, or in fact, they could have been treated very well but refused to give up sin and been angry because the church would not accept it.  I have personally seen the latter, and I have heard instances of the former by people I trust.

Arrogance is the by far the most common of these two.  Sarcasm and condescension drips from these comments.  All of the bites and jabs come together to form one overriding statement:  If you don't believe what I believe about this whole God idea, you're stupid, a complete moron.  When I have participated in a few of the "debates" in these forums, that is the attitude with which I was greeted.  Now, this is certainly not true of every atheist or agnostic I have read comments from or talked with.  To label them so would be as ridiculous as labeling every Christian an idiot or every atheist a genius or visa versa or any combination that can be put together there I think...  especially ancient Rome's labeling of Christians as atheists.  Some atheists are quite respectful and nice to talk to and even debate and reason with.  Some are even nicer to deal with than some Christians.

I don't understand why they are so angry and unbelievably insulting toward Christians for what we believe.  After all, if there is no god, are not we all just doing what our instincts have predisposed us to do?  How could we be blamed for that?  On the other hand, if there is something more, if God is really there, and a spiritual war is being waged for our souls, does it not make sense that the Deceiver would do everything in his power to belittle the position of truth?