The Scarlet Letter

I had to read The Scarlet Letter in high school, and like most books I was forced to read, I didn’t like it.  It was drama, and I don’t like dramas.  Give me good comedy or action, and I’ll come back for more every time… but not drama.  My life has plenty of that.  The story followed Hester Prynn, a woman who was found out in adultery after giving birth to a child, Pearl, while her husband was not yet in the Puritan colony of Boston.  It was sad to see that she was forced to mark herself with a red “A” that showed all who saw her that she was an adulteress.  The story continues into the vengeful scheme of her husband and the pain of the minister who committed the sin with her.  The acts of the characters are certainly not in keeping with the love and desire for reconciliation found in Scripture, but the story does show the pain that can be caused by just one act fueled by lust. Dealing with the subject of lust can be uncomfortable for some, but it is part of our life here in this world.  God is interested in dealing with real life, not some sugarcoated facsimile, so the Bible deals with lust.  So must we.

What is lust?  Lust is the improper viewing of another person in a sexual connotation. How do we act against lust?  I can think of no better picture of how to do this than the story God gives us of Joseph and Potifar’s wife in Genesis 39.  After Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers, he was taken to Egypt.  He found his way into the service of the Egyptian captain of the guard, Potifar.  Joseph was a righteous man, and God was not only blessing him for it, He was blessing Potifar’s entire household for it.  It was a great situation until Potifar’s wife decided get a little too much Joseph for herself.  She tried to seduce him multiple times.  On the final attempt she even got grabby and found herself holding Joseph’s clothes while he scampered away.  “Flee from sexual immorality.  Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18).  We are told to run away from lust!  That should clue us in on the danger of it!  God knows that we cannot stand in a situation of sexual sin forever and be victorious.  So get out of there!  Remove yourself from the temptation, or you will be consumed by it.  That is why you must end a relationship if you are sexually sinning in it.  If pornography is a problem, get software to block it on the computer and/or only use it in a public place.

Sexual sin consumes.  It will literally become a chemical addiction in your brain.  Phenylethylamine releases dopamine during sexual activity and gives you feelings of bliss, excitement, and attraction.  That plus the release of adrenaline and endorphins cause sexual activity to become addictive, even if it is harmful.  It has been compared to the addiction level of opiates like heroine.  That is why Scripture says, “I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases” (Song of Solomon 8:4).  This, of course, applies to guys as well.

Lust does not just exist in the physical realm, however.  It is pervasive in the realm of the mind.  Jesus said, ““You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ ²⁸ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:27-28).  That means that we must control our thoughts in this area as well.  “I never actually did anything with her” or “I was only thinking about him like that” are not excuses.  Merely thinking about a person who is not your spouse sexually is deadly sin.

You might be tempted to ignore what I’m saying because I’m not a teenager, and I don’t know your life or what you’re going through.  The truth is that I was a teenager, and I made some of mistakes in this area.  The consequences remain to this day.  What is the good of staying pure?  Your love life is saved for your spouse.  You are all familiar with Velcro.  What happens when Velcro is stuck together and pulled apart too much?  It stops sticking well.  The same is true with people who have had a lot of different relationships.  They have given away their heart too many times.  It does not connect with another very well anymore.  When you do decide to get married, your past relationships will not just fade from your mind.  They will always be there.  You will have to tell your spouse about your past, and that is not a fun experience.  Do not give your heart away so cheaply; it is way too precious for that.  Also, your risk of STDs and pregnancy outside of marriage drops to a staggering 0%!  If you don’t have sex, there is no risk!

 So, how do we deal with the opposite sex?
Dating, as we know it today, is a relatively new concept.  It used to be a slang term referring to prostitution, and the modern concept is not far from the origin.  A man takes a woman out, spends some money on her, and at some level eventually expects her to “put out.”

What a Godly man and woman should be doing is called courting.  If you want more details about this I would direct you to a great book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris.  The major difference between dating and courting is that courting is looking toward one goal, marriage.  That’s it!  If a Christian man and woman are “going out,” they should be able to see marriage somewhere in the future.  If either of them cannot, they shouldn’t be in that relationship.

Why is it important for a Christian to only court another Christian?
For a believer in Jesus, who is your first love?  The answer is unapologically JESUS!  How can you be in a close romantic relationship with someone who does not share that love?  I could never court an unbeliever.  They would dump me by the end of the first month because they’d be sick and tired of me witnessing to them and talking about Jesus!  “You might be tempted to ignore what I’m saying because I’m not a teenager, and I don’t know your life or what you’re going through.  The truth is that I was a teenager, and I made some of these mistakes.  The consequences remain to this day.  When you do decide to get married, your past relationships will not just fade from your mind.  They will always be there.  You will have to tell your spouse about your past, and that is not a fun experience.  What is the good of staying pure?  First, your relationship with God is put first.  In every sin, He is the one chiefly offended.  Remember the woman caught in adultery?  Jesus did not go to her husband or deal with the guy she was sleeping with.  He looked into her eyes and said, “Your sins are forgiven.  Go and sin no more.”  Reconciliation must first come with Him.  Second, your love life is saved for your spouse.  You are all familiar with Velcro.  What happens when Velcro is stuck together and pulled apart too much?  It stops sticking well.  The same is true with people who have had a lot of different relationships.  They have given away their heart too many times.  It does not connect with another very well anymore.  Do not give your heart away so cheaply; it is way too precious for that.  Last, your risk of STDs and pregnancy outside of marriage drops to a staggering 0%!  If you don’t have sex, there is no risk.

So, how do we deal with the opposite sex? Dating, as we know it today, is a relatively new concept.  It used to be a slang term referring to prostitution, and the modern concept is not far from the origin.  A man takes a woman out, spends some money on her, and at some level eventually expects her to “put out.”

What a Godly man and woman should be doing is called courting.  If you want more details about this I would direct you to a great book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris.  The major difference between dating and courting is that courting is looking toward one goal, marriage.  That’s it!  If a Christian man and woman are “going out,” they should be able to see marriage somewhere in the future.  If either of them cannot, they shouldn’t be in that relationship.

Why is it important for a Christian to only court another Christian? For a believer in Jesus, who is your first love?  The answer is unapologically JESUS!  How can you be in a close romantic relationship with someone who does not share that love?  I could never court an unbeliever.  They would dump me by the end of the first month because they’d be sick and tired of me witnessing to them and talking about Jesus!  “For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?  What accord has Christ with Belial?  Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?” (2 Corinthians 6:14b-15).  I am in Christ, and those in light have nothing to do with darkness except bringing light to it!  Darkness flees from the light of Christ within me.  If you are involved romantically with an unbeliever and they are not fleeing from you, you should ask yourself if you really are a light.

Be careful with your heart, Christian.  Don’t give it away cheap to bare scars that may never fully heal.  It is precious to your King.  Give it to Him completely.  Trust in Him.  Follow Him.  Obey Him, and He will show you the one person to give it to here.

"Only God Can Judge Me"

I spent ten and a half hours in the chair of Jered Peters getting my most recent tattoo.  He did a great job, and I highly recommend him if you are thinking about getting one.  Near the end of that time, we started talking about judgment. He said that he does a ton of "Only God Can Judge Me" tattoos.  I personally believe that tattoos should be personal and of unique meaning to the owner.  It does not seem worth the pain or the money otherwise.  I don't know if I can call the OGCJM tat the most common script out there, but it is certainly not unique by any stretch of the imagination.  The interesting thing about that tattoo is the improper, negative view of judgment it portrays.

I hear Christians all the time saying, "I can't judge" or "You can't judge me" to other believers.  Excuse me, but not only can you judge the actions and words of other believers, YOU ARE TOLD BY GOD TO DO SO! "When one of you has a grievance against another, does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints?  Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is to be judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases?  Do you not know that we are to judge angels?  How much more, then, matters pertaining to this life!" (1 Corinthians 6:1-3).  

You might be a little confused at this point.  Doesn't the Scripture say, "Judge not, that you be not judged" (Matthew 7:1)?  Yes, it does, but quoting that to support the idea of not judging the actions of other believers is a classic example of taking a verse out of context.  Here is the verse in context:  "Judge not, that you be not judged.  For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.  Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?  Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye?  You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye" (Matthew 7:1-5).  If Jesus was telling us not to judge, why is he then telling us to judge in verse five?  "Take the speck out of your brother's eye."  The truth is that Jesus is not telling us not to judge.  He is telling us how to judge correctly.  Remove sin from yourself before judging it in others.  In other words, do not be a hypocrite and judge against someone who is sinning while you are wrapped in sin yourself.

If it is not "Judge not, that you be not judged" (Matthew 7:1), the words of Jesus taken out of context are often, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone" (John 8:7).  The mistaken interpretation of this verse is that no one can judge because everyone has sinned.  That is a nice, comforting thought to those who like to sin a lot because it allows them to hurl a stone right back at anyone they feel is revealing the fact that they did wrong.  I am sorry, but this is no shield for your wrong-doing.  Jesus is not saying that you have to be sinless to judge.  If taken to its conclusion, that reasoning states that Jesus was in opposition to the Law of Moses and was publicly condemning it.  He would therefore be committing Himself to abolishing the Law and replacing it with lawlessness.  Jesus was no anarchist.  In fact, He supported the Law because He was God and gave the Law on Sinai.  He came to fulfill the Law, "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them" (Matthew 5:17).  Would Jesus stop a lawful execution under the Law of Moses.  Absolutely not.  The Law is just.  "Without sin" in this context is correctly understood as "without [this] sin."  Think about it.  How did those who brought the woman know where and when to catch this woman in adultery?  Adultery is not one of those sins that people commit out in the open, especially in a society that punishes it by bashing your skull with rocks until you die.  If these Pharisees and scribes knew where and when to find this women, they were probably visitors themselves.  They were adulterers and guilty of the same crime.  Someone who is guilty of the crime is not a legitimate witness against the same crime.  They just sent a guy over there to bed her and walked on over and arrested her.  Notice how he wasn't there?  Did they not have enough people in their mob to get him, too?  The penalty for him is death also, but why would they throw their buddy up there to die?  Jesus, like in all the other situations they tried to trap Him in, sees right through to their hearts.  He upholds the Law and says, "Go ahead and execute her...  if you can do it lawfully."  They couldn't.  They were guilty, too, and they should have been stoned along with her.  After that, Jesus forgives her, as only He could do, and then tells her to stop sinning.

These days, church discipline is one of those things that is often ignored.  Yet in those verses we see judgment at the level of the individual believer.  "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.  But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector" (Matthew 18:15-17).  It tells the individual believer that if another believer sins against you, you do not have to get approval of the church.  You do not have to confirm with other believers that what they did is sin.  You, as the believer, have the Holy Spirit.  You can judge whether it is sin or not.  Go in love and get the matter resolved.  Also, notice that the other believers and the church are not told to reevaluate whether or not the offense was sin.  The judgment is solely that of the individual sinned against.  How can church discipline exist if no one can judge?  It can't, and unfortunately, with our churches embracing no judgment, it isn't being enacted when it should be.  The result is sin infesting our churches, and why should we expect God to bless us when we allow sin to run wild consuming people in His church!

Believers, there is no justice without judgment.  Do not be deceived by Satan into thinking you cannot judge the actions and words of others saved by grace.  You can and should.  However, in doing so, do not fall in the other trap of Satan and start condemning them.  Even as you judge, you judge in love for the good of the sinner.  Your goal is reconciliation, not condemnation.  It is only when the one who is confronted refuses to repent are they cast out for the good of the body.

As it concerns unbelievers...  we cannot judge them.  "For what have I to do with judging outsiders?  Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge?  God judges those outside. 'Purge the evil person from among you'" (1 Corinthians 5:12-13).  If they have not committed to following Jesus, they cannot be expected to live as one of His people.  Don't judge their actions.  Love them as Jesus loves you.  By His grace they may yet be saved.

Notice though, even as the Scripture says not to judge unbelievers, it tells us to judge believers!  Do not let Satan deceive you!  You must judge for the sake of other believers and the good of the church.  God will not bless a church in which sin is allowed to run wild.  Why should He?  A church that does that is negligent, and it does not deserve God's blessing.

Put God first and purge sin from the church!