Real Life

When you think of the term “real life,” what comes to mind?  Usually I think people, at some level, get the idea of the small things in life, or maybe the “day to day” things that go one.  Ideas of real life become the tiny moments that one treasures in this life.  It is an amazing deception.

C.S. Lewis, in his book The Great Divorce, had an interesting description on heaven.  At the beginning of the book, he made clear the idea that he was not speculating on the afterlife, only giving an idea.  So, nothing in the book should be taken as the way it will be.  However, part of this idea, I believe was the difference between heaven, hell, and earth.  He describes heavens as a place that is so much more real than earth.  In comWhen you think of the term “real life,” what comes to mind?  Usually I think people, at some level, get the idea of the small things in life, or maybe the “day to day” things that go one.  Ideas of real life become the tiny moments that one treasures in this life.  It is an amazing deception.

C.S. Lewis, in his book The Great Divorce, had an interesting description on heaven.  At the beginning of the book, he made clear the idea that he was not speculating on the afterlife, only giving an idea.  So, nothing in the book should be taken as the way it will be.  However, part of this idea, I believe was the difference between heaven, hell, and earth.  He describes heavens as a place that is so much more real than earth.  In comparison, hell and earth were only shadows to Paradise.  I think that is probably something we will find to be true when we get there.

When we think of “real life,” though, our first thoughts are not of heaven.  They are of earth.  They are of the things here that bring us joy.  Now, when these things cause use to draw closer to God, I believe they are part of the life we were meant to enjoy here, but they are nothing compared to the real life to come.  What seems to happen far too often, however, are these things distracting us from God.  Choosing to sleep or do something else rather than go to church, choosing not to go witness to those who don’t know Jesus (whether as a group or by yourself) because you’re scared or too busy minding your own business to do God’s work, being caught up in a busy schedule only to not notice a person in need of help…  in other words, being too involved in “real life” that you miss the real life.  When you stand before God, what do you want to have been involved in here on earth?  Do those things.

"Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required” (Luke 12:48b).

Working

I have been thinking recently about a subject that has been hitting me hard recently.  Church people...  I use this term because I want to be sure to differentiate between those who are actually believers in Jesus Christ, Christians, with people who show up in church, church people.  These two groups overlap.  They should overlap a lot.  Christians should be in church, unless they are sick or at work or otherwise physically cannot make it.  They aren't always, but that is a topic to tackle under the title "Laziness" or "Irresponsibility."  There are also people who really do not have a relationship with Jesus Christ, but they are in church.  It may be because they have just always done it, or it may be because they are interested in what is being said.  Either way, I'm glad they are there.

"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,  not a result of works, so that no one may boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9).

I love this verse!  It makes me marvel at the astounding grace of God toward us, who could not be good ourselves!  Any Christian who quotes this verse or is reminded or this verse or reads this verse should remember the vast amount of grace that has been poured out on them and be overwhelmed!  

However, like many good things, the use of this verse can abused.  Whether they realize they are saying it or not, many church people and Christians use this verse to justify pursuing their own desires above God.  They resolve in their hearts that because their salvation is not based on works that what they do does not matter.  If what they do does not matter, then they can go where ever they want during church and be "just as good a Christian at _______ than at church."  Can you be just as good an employee at _______ than actually being at work?  No!  You can't because you focus is in the wrong place!  Even those that work at home know that to be productive they must have a special place at home to do their job where they are separated from distractions.  They willingly ignore the very next verse, "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them" (Ephesians 2:10).  Put these two verses together, and suddenly what you do matters!

I hear objections rising as people read, "But my salvation is not based on works!  It is based on grace!"  You're right!  I'm not talking about your salvation.  It's not about you!

Mind blown.  Yes, you were thinking about you again.

God has poured out His grace on us abundantly, but He did not do it because we are so awesome.  He did not do it for our sole benefit.  He didn't do it so that He would have company in heaven.  He is triune.  He has all the fellowship He will ever need in the Trinity.  He did it for His glory.  He did it so that when we saw what He did for us, we would fall down before His throne and give up ourselves!  He specifically tells us to do that, "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship" (Romans 12:1).

The reason this has been on my heart so much is that I see so many church people that refuse to give up themselves.  They have convinced themselves that they can be a good Christian doing whatever they want to do.  They will do church things when it is convenient, but not if it isn't...  in effect putting themselves first and on the throne of their own lives where God belongs by right.

The consequences of this type of life are also not considered.  Jesus said, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God" (Luke 9:62).  He also said, "Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me" (Matthew 10:37).  He even said, "Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.  On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’  And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you;depart from me, you workers of lawlessness'" (Matthew 7:21-23).  Notice verse 21 says that not everyone who acknowledges Jesus as Lord will be welcomed into Paradise.  He says only those who "do the will of my Father."  How is this possible if salvation is not based on works?  James answers this when he tells us, "I will show you my faith by my works" (James 2:18b).  It is by faith that we receive God's grace and that grace the brings salvation.  Works are the proof of that.  What you do shows what you have faith in.  If you say you have faith in Jesus but you ignore what He commands, do you really have faith?  I am not talking about a mistake or moment of weakness.  I am talking about willfully ignoring what He says.  Do you think you have real faith?  Do you think you will be granted entry to the Kingdom of Heaven just because you cry out to Jesus as Lord?  Apparently those people who cried out to Him in Matthew 7 did.  look what happened to them.  

Some of you who know the Scripture may now want to quote, "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved" (Romans 10:9).  I agree.  Notice it says that you must believe.  It does not end with just a confession.  You must believe in your heart that Jesus died to pay for the sin debt on your soul and that God raised Him from the dead conquering death itself!  You must believe, and if you believe, something more than just a confession will come from you!  You will tell others about the great salvation you received.  You will serve others first because Jesus did.  You will reach out to help the hurting and needy because God has reach out to you.  You will give your tithe so the church can continue to to operate and reach more people...  you may even give more that 1/10 of your income so that more can be done.  You will do these things because you love Jesus, and He said, "If you love Me, you will keep My commandments" (John 14:15).

Being that living sacrifice can hurt.  I know from experience.  I have lived below the poverty line in a place I didn't know with no family in service to God, not because I'm great, but because He is great.  God may not call you to that, but He is calling you to lay down your own life.  If you are a Christian, you proclaim Jesus as Lord of your life.  If He is, get out of His chair.

Snakes & the Gospel

I have recently become the owner of two wonderful little snakes.  Ranger, a fiery red and orange Brooks Kingsnake, and Nathaira, a beautiful green Checkered Garter Snake with a 
yellow dorsal stripe, have become very welcome members of my life.  

As a happy pet owner, I take every opportunity to show them off to people.  Some love it, and they regularly ask me about them.  Others are interested and watch the videos.  Several are genuinely scared of snakes. I completely understand this, though.  Irrational fears are exactly that, irrational.  I have one myself, so I do my best to remember who and not show them pictures or videos.  They are likely to block me on Facebook, too.  The group I find fascinating are the ones who are repulsed by them.  There is really nothing to this.  Snakes aren't slimy or gross.  They are very interesting creatures.  In fact, I would say that snakes, more than any other creature on this earth, understand the predicament of humanity.

Genesis 3 begins by talking about the snake.  It calls the snake "crafty."  It seems that this "craftiness" made the snake the ideal tool in the hands of the Enemy.  "Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made.  He said to the woman, 'Did God actually say, "You shall not eat of any tree in the garden"?'" (Genesis 3:1).  

Now, anyone who owns a snake knows that snakes are super stealthy.  I was convinced I had lost Nathaira at one point.  She must have escaped while I was cleaning the tank because I tore that tank apart looking for her to no avail.  I put down hides and tape on the floor as well as heat to attract her.  One morning as I was checking my traps, I saw her slither up and over her tree IN THE TANK!!!  That snake had managed to hide in that tank the whole time...  crafty indeed.  However, no snake has the desire or mental capability to try to deceive mankind.  After all, snakes were created by God and He called them good.  "And God said, 'Let the waters swarm with swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the expanse of the heavens.'  So God created the great sea creatures and every living creature that moves, with which the waters swarm, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good" (Genesis 1:20-21).  If the snake was created good without any reason to deceive mankind, who does want to deceive mankind?  Satan does, and he used that snake for exactly that purpose.

The Fall of Man proceeded in this manner.  Satan possessed the snake and used its natural craftiness (probably just a shadow of his own craftiness) to deceive mankind.  He planted the seed of doubt, and they doubted the goodness of God.  They made the choice not to trust their Creator and rebelled against His one command.  They sinned and were no longer innocent.  This climactic event sent ripples throughout time that have swollen into waves that crash on the shores of our daily lives.  Mankind fell, and in the falling there are four guilty parties.  Satan is obviously guilty for starting this problem and deceiving mankind.  God pronounced his punishment here:

 "I will put enmity between you and the woman,
    and between your offspring and her offspring;
he shall bruise your head,
    and you shall bruise his heel" (Genesis 3:15).

This is the first mention of the Good News we see in Scripture.  It is  referred to as the protoevangelium or "first Gospel."  I will talk about this a bit later as it deals with man, not Satan.

God will also deal with Satan at the end of days, "And they marched up over the broad plain of the earth and surrounded the camp of the saints and the beloved city, but fire came down from heaven and consumed them,  and the devil who had deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and sulfur where the beast and the false prophet were, and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever" (Revelation 20:9-10).  Mankind is guilty for rebelling against God.  God gave them their punishment:


"To the woman He said,

“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;
    in pain you shall bring forth children.
Your desire shall be for your husband,
    and he shall rule over you.”

And to Adam He said,

“Because you have listened to the voice of your wife
    and have eaten of the tree
of which I commanded you,
    ‘You shall not eat of it,’
cursed is the ground because of you;
    in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life;
  thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you;
    and you shall eat the plants of the field.
 By the sweat of your face
    you shall eat bread,
till you return to the ground,
    for out of it you were taken;
for you are dust,
    and to dust you shall return'" (Genesis 3:17-19).

For listening to the snake instead of God, women's pain in childbearing is increased, and she will desire to rule over her husband.  However, God will give that authority to the man.  For listening to the woman instead of God, the ground will be cursed and man will labor hard to provide for himself and his family.  

However, God did not give punishment without hope.  God will punish evil.  Don't make the asinine assumption that "good" = "let's me get away with what I want."  God will punish wrongdoing, and He does not play favorites.  That means you will bear the penalty for the wrong you do.  Doing something good later does not take that wrong away.  However, He also desire reconciliation with you.  This is where the evangelium or "Gospel" comes in again.   The only way reconciliation can happen is if your wrongdoing is punished.  He wants reconciliation with you so much that He decided He would pay the penalty Himself.  He became man and paid that penalty by being tortured to death on a cross.  That is a good God.  That is Jesus Christ.

That brings us to the last guilty party, the snake.  Obviously, the snake let Satan use him.  God would not have specifically punished an innocent creature for the work of Satan, so the the snake bears guilt in this debacle as well:

"The Lord God said to the serpent,

'Because you have done this,
    cursed are you above all livestock
    and above all beasts of the field;
on your belly you shall go,
    and dust you shall eat
    all the days of your life'" (Genesis 3:14).

So God takes the snake's legs away from him.  Now, instead of walking, he will slither on his belly.  Even though slithering on their bellies is all the snakes of today have ever known, the absence of legs is still an inconvenience.  As fast as snakes are, legs would certainly increase that speed, and with the increased speed, they may very well feel more comfortable out in the open as opposed to the amount of time they spend hiding.  Maybe not.  That's just a thought.

God also said that the snake will "eat dust."  Now, does a snake actually eat dust particles other than accidentally?  Well, it does use its tongue to taste the particles of dust or anything else by quickly flicking out its tongue and then inserting the forked end into the openings of the Jacobson's organ at the roof of its mouth.  This allows the snake to sense its surroundings, escape from threats, and hunt prey.  Once the particles are sensed, the tongue is cleaned.  I do not know for sure, but it does seem likely that the snake would just swallow the particles to cleanse the tongue, making it ready to sense the particles coming in from the next tongue flick.  Is this part of the curse God laid upon the snake?  Maybe.  The term, "eat dust" is also symbolic of being brought low, abhorrent, despised, and degraded.  God uses the comparison in Micah 7:16-17.  The phrase "eat dust" may just mean that the snake has been brought low, and having just lost his legs, that is certainly true.  The feelings of many toward snakes today would also testify to that truth.

The snake is the only creature in all of creation that had a part with us at the Fall.  We got deceived, and he got used.  We both bear guilt, and we both got duped by Satan, so the snake, more than any other creature, can relate to us on having been fooled by the Enemy.  He lives with the consequence of it everyday, as we do.

With that connection, certainly we can get along.

Madison's First Snake

Caring Enough

Recently, I decided that I was done living alone.  I have wanted to get a pet since only a few months after moving up to Indiana, but the apartment complex I live in does not allow pets.

I went over to the office and got specific with them.  "Do you allow small pets?  Do you allow only certain kinds of pets, or is it a blanket ban on any pet?"  They said their concern was for the possible allergies of other residents, which I do not fully believe, so they allow only pets that do not have fur.  Well, that means no cat.  Please, no smart remarks about hairless cats.  They still have fur.

This made the choice easy for me.  I had considered getting a snake in the past, but now that owning a cat was out of the question since I do not want to move, a snake was the perfect choice.

Ranger - Brooks Kingsnake at 3 months old

The only experience I had to draw from in owning a snake was college. Some of the knowledge I got in my wildlife classes helped, and what I remembered about David's ball python, Abe, helped to start me out.  What was the most helpful was the online community that I had no idea existed for snakes and other reptiles.  If you are looking for help, or are just curious about herps of any kind, the people on this forum have been great.

Reptile & Parrots Forum

I have been very impressed by their kindness, willingness to help, and even a desire to be friends.  It has been a very nice welcome to the world of reptiles.

All of this has made me think about the Church a bit.  I know that the perception of the Church really comes to visitors through whatever local church they visit.  My question then is, "How do newcomers see us when they walk through the doors?"  Many of them have had past experiences with other churches, either good or bad, but they have come to our church desiring what I came to that forum desiring:  Someone who cared enough to help me.  I want to care enough about anyone else that I would not miss it if they needed me and not be callous enough to ignore their need.  

That is what God expects of us, right?
"A new commandment I [Jesus] give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.  By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:34-35).


That is what we will answer to Him for at judgment.

"When the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the angels with Him, then He will sit on His glorious throne.  Before Him will be gathered all the nations, and He will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.  And He will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left.  Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.  For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me,  I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’  Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink?  And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you?  And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’  And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’

“Then He will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.  For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave Me no drink,  I was a stranger and you did not welcome Me, naked and you did not clothe Me, sick and in prison and you did not visit Me.’  Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to You?’  Then He will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’  And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life” (Matthew 25:31-46).

Though, we know that it is not by works we are saved...
"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,  not a result of works, so that no one may boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9).

We see that even while saved by grace, we will be judged by our works.

"Then I saw a great white throne and Him who was seated on it. From His presence earth and sky fled away, and no place was found for them.  And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Then another book was opened, which is the book of life. And the dead were judged by what was written in the books, according to what they had done.  And the sea gave up the dead who were in it, Death and Hades gave up the dead who were in them, and they were judged, each one of them, according to what they had done.  Then Death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire.  This is the second death, the lake of fire.  And if anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire" (Revelation 20:11-15).

This only makes sense, though.  True and living faith in Jesus Christ brings forth good works.

"What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works?  Can that faith save him?  If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food,  and one of you says to them, 'Go in peace, be warmed and filled,' without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?  So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead" (James 2:14-17).

What then do we say about the good things done by those who do not trust Jesus as their Savior?  These things that they do may very well be good works.  Think of Ghandi.  His passive resistance for the freedom of India from British rule was inspiring!  It certainly made this world a better place, not just because of his actions, but also by what those actions have inspired in others.  However, Ghandi still did wrong.  He was not perfect, just like the rest of us are not perfect.  God says, "Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.  As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance,  but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, "You shall be holy, for I am holy'" (1 Peter 1:13-16).  

Nothing against Ghandi, but he was not holy.  He fell short of the standard of God like everyone else has, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23).  That is just the hard truth.  We cannot do it on our own.  That is why God did it for us, "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 6:23).  What does it take?  Death, unfortunately.  Sin leads to death.  There is no getting around that little doosy.  "For the life of the flesh is in the blood, and I have given it for you on the altar to make atonement for your souls, for it is the blood that makes atonement by the life" (Leviticus 17:11).  That is why Jesus had to die.  He had to die so that the sin we committed would be paid for, and He was the only one who could do it because He never sinned.  "Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession.  For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin" (Hebrews 4:14-15).  Once our sin is paid for, we can be free.  All we have to do is accept the gift.  Remember, the Bible said it was a "free gift."  How do we accept it?  Trust in Jesus.  "Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.  For the Scripture says, 'Everyone who believes in Him will not be put to shame.'  For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing His riches on all who call on Him.  For 'everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved'" (Romans 10:9-13).

Believe in Jesus that His blood on the cross paid for your wrong doing.

Confess Him as your Savior.

That's it.  Trust Jesus.  You will not be put to shame, and you will gain eternal life in Heaven.

The Scarlet Letter

I had to read The Scarlet Letter in high school, and like most books I was forced to read, I didn’t like it.  It was drama, and I don’t like dramas.  Give me good comedy or action, and I’ll come back for more every time… but not drama.  My life has plenty of that.  The story followed Hester Prynn, a woman who was found out in adultery after giving birth to a child, Pearl, while her husband was not yet in the Puritan colony of Boston.  It was sad to see that she was forced to mark herself with a red “A” that showed all who saw her that she was an adulteress.  The story continues into the vengeful scheme of her husband and the pain of the minister who committed the sin with her.  The acts of the characters are certainly not in keeping with the love and desire for reconciliation found in Scripture, but the story does show the pain that can be caused by just one act fueled by lust. Dealing with the subject of lust can be uncomfortable for some, but it is part of our life here in this world.  God is interested in dealing with real life, not some sugarcoated facsimile, so the Bible deals with lust.  So must we.

What is lust?  Lust is the improper viewing of another person in a sexual connotation. How do we act against lust?  I can think of no better picture of how to do this than the story God gives us of Joseph and Potifar’s wife in Genesis 39.  After Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers, he was taken to Egypt.  He found his way into the service of the Egyptian captain of the guard, Potifar.  Joseph was a righteous man, and God was not only blessing him for it, He was blessing Potifar’s entire household for it.  It was a great situation until Potifar’s wife decided get a little too much Joseph for herself.  She tried to seduce him multiple times.  On the final attempt she even got grabby and found herself holding Joseph’s clothes while he scampered away.  “Flee from sexual immorality.  Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18).  We are told to run away from lust!  That should clue us in on the danger of it!  God knows that we cannot stand in a situation of sexual sin forever and be victorious.  So get out of there!  Remove yourself from the temptation, or you will be consumed by it.  That is why you must end a relationship if you are sexually sinning in it.  If pornography is a problem, get software to block it on the computer and/or only use it in a public place.

Sexual sin consumes.  It will literally become a chemical addiction in your brain.  Phenylethylamine releases dopamine during sexual activity and gives you feelings of bliss, excitement, and attraction.  That plus the release of adrenaline and endorphins cause sexual activity to become addictive, even if it is harmful.  It has been compared to the addiction level of opiates like heroine.  That is why Scripture says, “I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases” (Song of Solomon 8:4).  This, of course, applies to guys as well.

Lust does not just exist in the physical realm, however.  It is pervasive in the realm of the mind.  Jesus said, ““You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ ²⁸ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:27-28).  That means that we must control our thoughts in this area as well.  “I never actually did anything with her” or “I was only thinking about him like that” are not excuses.  Merely thinking about a person who is not your spouse sexually is deadly sin.

You might be tempted to ignore what I’m saying because I’m not a teenager, and I don’t know your life or what you’re going through.  The truth is that I was a teenager, and I made some of mistakes in this area.  The consequences remain to this day.  What is the good of staying pure?  Your love life is saved for your spouse.  You are all familiar with Velcro.  What happens when Velcro is stuck together and pulled apart too much?  It stops sticking well.  The same is true with people who have had a lot of different relationships.  They have given away their heart too many times.  It does not connect with another very well anymore.  When you do decide to get married, your past relationships will not just fade from your mind.  They will always be there.  You will have to tell your spouse about your past, and that is not a fun experience.  Do not give your heart away so cheaply; it is way too precious for that.  Also, your risk of STDs and pregnancy outside of marriage drops to a staggering 0%!  If you don’t have sex, there is no risk!

 So, how do we deal with the opposite sex?
Dating, as we know it today, is a relatively new concept.  It used to be a slang term referring to prostitution, and the modern concept is not far from the origin.  A man takes a woman out, spends some money on her, and at some level eventually expects her to “put out.”

What a Godly man and woman should be doing is called courting.  If you want more details about this I would direct you to a great book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris.  The major difference between dating and courting is that courting is looking toward one goal, marriage.  That’s it!  If a Christian man and woman are “going out,” they should be able to see marriage somewhere in the future.  If either of them cannot, they shouldn’t be in that relationship.

Why is it important for a Christian to only court another Christian?
For a believer in Jesus, who is your first love?  The answer is unapologically JESUS!  How can you be in a close romantic relationship with someone who does not share that love?  I could never court an unbeliever.  They would dump me by the end of the first month because they’d be sick and tired of me witnessing to them and talking about Jesus!  “You might be tempted to ignore what I’m saying because I’m not a teenager, and I don’t know your life or what you’re going through.  The truth is that I was a teenager, and I made some of these mistakes.  The consequences remain to this day.  When you do decide to get married, your past relationships will not just fade from your mind.  They will always be there.  You will have to tell your spouse about your past, and that is not a fun experience.  What is the good of staying pure?  First, your relationship with God is put first.  In every sin, He is the one chiefly offended.  Remember the woman caught in adultery?  Jesus did not go to her husband or deal with the guy she was sleeping with.  He looked into her eyes and said, “Your sins are forgiven.  Go and sin no more.”  Reconciliation must first come with Him.  Second, your love life is saved for your spouse.  You are all familiar with Velcro.  What happens when Velcro is stuck together and pulled apart too much?  It stops sticking well.  The same is true with people who have had a lot of different relationships.  They have given away their heart too many times.  It does not connect with another very well anymore.  Do not give your heart away so cheaply; it is way too precious for that.  Last, your risk of STDs and pregnancy outside of marriage drops to a staggering 0%!  If you don’t have sex, there is no risk.

So, how do we deal with the opposite sex? Dating, as we know it today, is a relatively new concept.  It used to be a slang term referring to prostitution, and the modern concept is not far from the origin.  A man takes a woman out, spends some money on her, and at some level eventually expects her to “put out.”

What a Godly man and woman should be doing is called courting.  If you want more details about this I would direct you to a great book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris.  The major difference between dating and courting is that courting is looking toward one goal, marriage.  That’s it!  If a Christian man and woman are “going out,” they should be able to see marriage somewhere in the future.  If either of them cannot, they shouldn’t be in that relationship.

Why is it important for a Christian to only court another Christian? For a believer in Jesus, who is your first love?  The answer is unapologically JESUS!  How can you be in a close romantic relationship with someone who does not share that love?  I could never court an unbeliever.  They would dump me by the end of the first month because they’d be sick and tired of me witnessing to them and talking about Jesus!  “For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?  What accord has Christ with Belial?  Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?” (2 Corinthians 6:14b-15).  I am in Christ, and those in light have nothing to do with darkness except bringing light to it!  Darkness flees from the light of Christ within me.  If you are involved romantically with an unbeliever and they are not fleeing from you, you should ask yourself if you really are a light.

Be careful with your heart, Christian.  Don’t give it away cheap to bare scars that may never fully heal.  It is precious to your King.  Give it to Him completely.  Trust in Him.  Follow Him.  Obey Him, and He will show you the one person to give it to here.