Getting Told

I find political correctness to be an absolutely irritating thing.  I believe the conception of the term has take common decency in language to an absurd level.  It is necessary to avoid certain words or phrases in language in order to keep from offending, but there is a point where this becomes ridiculous.  For example, the word n*gger should never be used as it is derogatory.  However, I have been told that using the term "black" rather than "African American" is now offensive.  Leaving aside the obvious hypocrisy as this person proceeds to call me as "white," is it really upsetting to be described?  I am white.  That does not offend me, so I wonder why this person finds it offensive to be called black.  What's wrong with being black?  Pondering this subject, I came to the conclusion that race is not the issue.  The issue is that people are seeking out reasons to get offended.  They are looking for a way to put someone else in the wrong, to nitpick and find some way to feel better about themselves at the cost of the other person.  The root cause:  pride.  It is the pride that says, "I'm better than you," or even, "I'm as good as you!  Do you see?  You do that, and I don't.  That makes me better than you!"  The same thing has occurred in people who claim Christ as their savior.  I don't drink and you do, or I don't smoke and you do!  I'm better.  And then there is this one:  "I'm straight and you're living the gay lifestyle!  That makes me better!  Do you see?  I'm up here, and you're down there!  Ha!  Me equals better!"  It is really sad that the world has that view of us.  Instead of seeing people that genuinely love them, they see people that are saying, "I'm better than you!  Get out of my church!"  They should be seeing, "I love you.  Jesus loves you.  Come on in.  You are welcome here."

Do not get me wrong here.  Homosexuality is wrong.  So is having sex with anyone who is not your spouse, murdering, lying, stealing, etc.  The point is:  How are we presenting the love of Christ?  If we are going to them in love and gentleness, that is all we can do.  They may get offended anyway, that is not our fault.  We are not to judge them as those outside the church.  God will take care of that.  Our job is to love them as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us.

It is not just people outside the church who are overly sensitive, though.  Those inside the church sometimes seem to make it their business to get offended over the smallest things!  We make the jokes about people getting mad over the color of the carpet and the pews, but the reason we makes those jokes is because it has happened.  I know of at least one church that spit because of the carpet color!  Seriously?!?!  Is that the Kingdom of God here on earth?  It is pathetic that grown men and women can throw a hissy fit over something like that, but it happens all the time:

Ben talks to Marsha.  He mentions that during the last fellowship time, Sandra said, "Marsha's make-up looks fine."  Now, Ben is not the best conversationalist, and he didn't really remember that Sandra actually said, "Marsha's make-up works very well with her skin tone."  Marsha hears "fine" and construes it to mean that she looks like a dead clown with graffiti on her face.  Now she goes to Jorge and Elisa who hear her sad clown story and become angry at Sandra, too.  Soon, the story gets back to Sandra through her friends asking her why she called Marsha "a disgusting painted cow."  She is confused, but the conflict has already peeked.  From the outside, they look like fools.

This big mess and almost all of the other issues like this that arise in the churches today can be taken care of long before they get to this level or even cleaned up at this level by following how Scripture tells us to proceed:

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.  If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.  But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.  If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church.  And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a pagan or a tax collector" (Matthew 18:15-17).


Now, many of you are probably blaming poor, old Ben already, but Ben was just trying to relay a compliment.  It is not his fault that his memory fails him from time to time on the particulars, and that "fine" actually means "fine" to him.  He was pretty innocent in the matter.  The true problem began with Marsha.  When Marsha heard the word "fine," she decided within herself to take that word in a negative light.  She is one who decided "fine" meant "wrong in every way."  She was too sensitive, and she had second hand information.  Marsha could have proceeded in three ways that would have been keeping with righteousness and godliness:

1. She could have taken "fine" in a positive way.  That is a decision well within her area of control, and it would have stopped any conflict at that point.
2. She could have decided that even if Sandra meant it in a negative way, she was not going to worry about it.  This includes not holding a grudge or speaking about the issue to anyone else.  This would have prevented the conflict from going any further.
3. If the first two options just could not happen, Marsha could have begone the process of church discipline with Sandra by confronting her on the issue in a kind and gentle way and following through with the process in verses 15-17 above.  This also would have taken care of the conflict as Sandra explained what she had really said.

When we enact church discipline, either in cases of brothers or sisters wronging us or in cases when brothers or sisters are doing wrong independent of us, confronting people is never a fun thing to do.  If it becomes fun, you must check your heart because you are most likely guilty of the sin of putting someone else in the wrong which was discussed at the beginning of this.  It doesn't matter whether they are wrong or not at this point.  You need to get the plank out of your eye before you worry about their splinter.

You must confront in gentleness and reasonableness.  The confrontation is for the good of the one being confronted.  Remember this!  No one enjoys being told they are wrong unless they are humble or can look on the situation with complete objectivity, and if they are doing something wrong, it is very likely they have decided to ignore objectivity already.  Emotions can get involved very quickly, and that pushes objectivity even further away.  It is the job of the one confronting to remain calm and bring objectivity back by way of Scripture and reason.  Reason is used primarily as it is reasonable to follow Scripture rather than disregarding it.

Ultimately, it is the job of every believer, for the good of your fellow believers, the church, and the Church universal, to follow this process.  You have been bought by the blood of the Lamb.  You are no longer your own, so you no longer have the right to be offended to the detriment of the body of Christ.  You need to grow a thicker skin and quit putting yourself first.