What is lust? Lust is the improper viewing of another person in a sexual connotation. How do we act against lust? I can think of no better picture of how to do this than the story God gives us of Joseph and Potifar’s wife in Genesis 39. After Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers, he was taken to Egypt. He found his way into the service of the Egyptian captain of the guard, Potifar. Joseph was a righteous man, and God was not only blessing him for it, He was blessing Potifar’s entire household for it. It was a great situation until Potifar’s wife decided get a little too much Joseph for herself. She tried to seduce him multiple times. On the final attempt she even got grabby and found herself holding Joseph’s clothes while he scampered away. “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18). We are told to run away from lust! That should clue us in on the danger of it! God knows that we cannot stand in a situation of sexual sin forever and be victorious. So get out of there! Remove yourself from the temptation, or you will be consumed by it. That is why you must end a relationship if you are sexually sinning in it. If pornography is a problem, get software to block it on the computer and/or only use it in a public place.
Sexual sin consumes. It will literally become a chemical addiction in your brain. Phenylethylamine releases dopamine during sexual activity and gives you feelings of bliss, excitement, and attraction. That plus the release of adrenaline and endorphins cause sexual activity to become addictive, even if it is harmful. It has been compared to the addiction level of opiates like heroine. That is why Scripture says, “I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases” (Song of Solomon 8:4). This, of course, applies to guys as well.
Lust does not just exist in the physical realm, however. It is pervasive in the realm of the mind. Jesus said, ““You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:27-28). That means that we must control our thoughts in this area as well. “I never actually did anything with her” or “I was only thinking about him like that” are not excuses. Merely thinking about a person who is not your spouse sexually is deadly sin.
You might be tempted to ignore what I’m saying because I’m not a teenager, and I don’t know your life or what you’re going through. The truth is that I was a teenager, and I made some of mistakes in this area. The consequences remain to this day. What is the good of staying pure? Your love life is saved for your spouse. You are all familiar with Velcro. What happens when Velcro is stuck together and pulled apart too much? It stops sticking well. The same is true with people who have had a lot of different relationships. They have given away their heart too many times. It does not connect with another very well anymore. When you do decide to get married, your past relationships will not just fade from your mind. They will always be there. You will have to tell your spouse about your past, and that is not a fun experience. Do not give your heart away so cheaply; it is way too precious for that. Also, your risk of STDs and pregnancy outside of marriage drops to a staggering 0%! If you don’t have sex, there is no risk!
So, how do we deal with the opposite sex?
Dating, as we know it today, is a relatively new concept. It used to be a slang term referring to prostitution, and the modern concept is not far from the origin. A man takes a woman out, spends some money on her, and at some level eventually expects her to “put out.”
What a Godly man and woman should be doing is called courting. If you want more details about this I would direct you to a great book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. The major difference between dating and courting is that courting is looking toward one goal, marriage. That’s it! If a Christian man and woman are “going out,” they should be able to see marriage somewhere in the future. If either of them cannot, they shouldn’t be in that relationship.
Why is it important for a Christian to only court another Christian?
For a believer in Jesus, who is your first love? The answer is unapologically JESUS! How can you be in a close romantic relationship with someone who does not share that love? I could never court an unbeliever. They would dump me by the end of the first month because they’d be sick and tired of me witnessing to them and talking about Jesus! “You might be tempted to ignore what I’m saying because I’m not a teenager, and I don’t know your life or what you’re going through. The truth is that I was a teenager, and I made some of these mistakes. The consequences remain to this day. When you do decide to get married, your past relationships will not just fade from your mind. They will always be there. You will have to tell your spouse about your past, and that is not a fun experience. What is the good of staying pure? First, your relationship with God is put first. In every sin, He is the one chiefly offended. Remember the woman caught in adultery? Jesus did not go to her husband or deal with the guy she was sleeping with. He looked into her eyes and said, “Your sins are forgiven. Go and sin no more.” Reconciliation must first come with Him. Second, your love life is saved for your spouse. You are all familiar with Velcro. What happens when Velcro is stuck together and pulled apart too much? It stops sticking well. The same is true with people who have had a lot of different relationships. They have given away their heart too many times. It does not connect with another very well anymore. Do not give your heart away so cheaply; it is way too precious for that. Last, your risk of STDs and pregnancy outside of marriage drops to a staggering 0%! If you don’t have sex, there is no risk.
So, how do we deal with the opposite sex? Dating, as we know it today, is a relatively new concept. It used to be a slang term referring to prostitution, and the modern concept is not far from the origin. A man takes a woman out, spends some money on her, and at some level eventually expects her to “put out.”
What a Godly man and woman should be doing is called courting. If you want more details about this I would direct you to a great book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. The major difference between dating and courting is that courting is looking toward one goal, marriage. That’s it! If a Christian man and woman are “going out,” they should be able to see marriage somewhere in the future. If either of them cannot, they shouldn’t be in that relationship.
Why is it important for a Christian to only court another Christian? For a believer in Jesus, who is your first love? The answer is unapologically JESUS! How can you be in a close romantic relationship with someone who does not share that love? I could never court an unbeliever. They would dump me by the end of the first month because they’d be sick and tired of me witnessing to them and talking about Jesus! “For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?” (2 Corinthians 6:14b-15). I am in Christ, and those in light have nothing to do with darkness except bringing light to it! Darkness flees from the light of Christ within me. If you are involved romantically with an unbeliever and they are not fleeing from you, you should ask yourself if you really are a light.
Be careful with your heart, Christian. Don’t give it away cheap to bare scars that may never fully heal. It is precious to your King. Give it to Him completely. Trust in Him. Follow Him. Obey Him, and He will show you the one person to give it to here.
