Hold My Heart

"One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the Maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart?"
(Tenth Avenue North, Hold My Heart)

I think this is a question that so many people are asking all the time.  Throughout our lives, we endure an incredible amount of pain.  Many times we wonder how to continue on.  God made us to be relational creatures, and whenever we are dealing with relationships there is going to be pain.  Think about it.  The times you have been hurt the worst involved another person, right?  I would even venture to say that every time you have been hurt badly was because of a person, either yourself or someone else.

Why does a good God allow us to go through such pain?  The answer is not simple, but I will give you what I know.  One reason is summed up in an expression I have recently become fond of saying, "God breaks our hearts so that we can minister to the brokenhearted."  When you have had your heart broken, you can understand the pain of another through your own pain.  You can remember the shock, the despair, and the confusion, so you can empathize because you have been there instead of merely sympathizing with them.

Another reason God allows us to go through such pain is because He wants us to truly love Him.  I know that does not seem to make any sense yet, but let me explain.  God wants us to truly love Him, so when He first made mankind, He gave us the ability to make our own choices.  We call this freewill.  It would not be true love if God forced us to love Him and forced us to make the right decision all the time.  When a creature is given the ability to choose, it has the ability to make a poor decision.  That is what Adam and Eve did when mankind fell (Genesis 3).  They were given the freewill to obey God, maintain their innocence, and retain their rightful place as stewards over the rest of creation.  The Enemy came and tempted them to reject the truth that God had told them, "He said to the woman, 'Did God actually say, "You shall not eat of any tree in the garden"?'  And the woman said to the serpent, 'We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, "You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die."'  But the serpent said to the woman, 'You will not surely die.  For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil'"(Genesis 3:2-5).  Adam and Eve chose their own way.  At that point, mankind rejected their Creator, and because of this, they died spiritually.  God no longer walked with them, and the intimacy they shared was broken.  He drove them from the Garden for He will not tolerate sin, "For You are not a God who takes pleasure in wickedness; no evil dwells with You. The boastful shall not stand before Your eyes; You hate all who do iniquity" (Psalm 5:4-5).  Spiritual death changed people.  We were no longer innocent.  We became tainted by sin, and we are now, "by nature children of wrath" (Ephesians 2:3) because we are guilty before God.  "The intention of man’s heart is evil from his youth" (Genesis 8:21).  This is evident in any child.  Did you have to teach you child to lie?  Did you have to teach them to cheat?  No, they do that naturally.  You have to teach them not to.

The thought of people being inherently evil will cause some of you to get defensive.  You might be thinking, "Who is this guy that he is telling me I am evil?" or "If this guy dares to tell me that my child is wicked, I'm going to..."  Well, first off, I am not telling you this.  God is.  Second, if you honestly look at yourself, you don't need anyone to tell you that.  You already know it.  How often have you done something you know should not have?  Me too.  We're messed up.  Why do you think that phrase, "I'm only human" came about?  It is the reason, but it is not an excuse.

God gave mankind freewill in order that mankind would freely choose Him.  Instead, we chose and still choose in many cases, to reject Him and follow our own desires.  When we do this, we leave a trail of devastation in our wake.

We are told that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), yet His people throw marriage away like it means nothing.  They vowed to stay together until death!  “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate” (Mark 10:9).  Do you think this does not leave a scar on the heart of everyone involved?  Unless the one divorcing is an unbeliever or there was unrepentant marital unfaithfulness, I believe Scripture is clear that God does not allow divorce, and if either remarries, they are guilty of adultery.  Beyond this, it is clear in Scripture that God would have the lives of His people marked by reconciliation and forgiveness.  His ultimate goal is that there would be reconciliation and forgiveness, even in the cases He allows divorce.  Take the example of Hosea (Hosea 2:2-7, 3:1-3).  God can even heal wounds like that, and it is a beautiful picture of God's love when this happens.  The spouses are not the only ones effected, though.  My parents are divorced and have been for years.  I can tell you that it still has an effect on me.  If anyone says differently about themselves, they are either ignorant of it or dishonest about it.

We are told not to lie, gossip, or covet, yet we do these things all the time.  Those "little white lies" are still lies, and they still hurt when the person you lied to realizes that they really cannot trust you.  Gossip is still rampant in the Church, and it is amazing how many do it without even realizing they are.  How often have you wanted something that someone else possesses?

I have talked about these sins above for two reasons.  The first is so that you would understand how mankind has abused the freewill given by God.  This abuse of freewill is the cause of all that pain you feel.  When someone chooses to go their own way instead of following God it will break hearts.  Yours has already been stomped on by one of these rebels.  The second reason is so that you will understand that you do it, too.  You and I are also rebels running over hearts on our way to what we think we want.  The next time that someone carelessly punches you in the heart, remember that you have punched a few yourself.  Love in spite of the pain.  Forgive those who sin against you (Matthew 6:12).

The hope for those of us who keep hurting others is in the fact that God does love us, even in our sin.  When it was revealed that Adam and Eve sinned against God, what was the first thing God did?  It was not to yell at them or smite them or even to drive them from Him.  He told them the reality of the situation, and that they would be punished.  Then He showed them that He still loved them.  He clothed them.  You can even see the depth of God's love when you see that He clothed them with skins.  That means that an animal had to be killed, the first sacrifice for sin, "And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them" (Genesis 3:21).  God cannot tolerate sin, but He loves us despite our sin.  He loves us so much that He paid the consequence for our sin and died in our place to free us from it because we cannot do it ourselves.  All you have to do is accept the gift.  At that point we can start doing the good things we were meant to do instead of the thrashing others' hearts, "But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved — and raised us up with Him and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages He might show the immeasurable riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,  not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them" (Ephesians 2:4-10).


/// One might think in reading this that it could pertain to one of several people in my personal life.  It does not, and it was never intended to.  Any rebuke I might give to another would be in love and born of the desire to see that person become more like Jesus.  It certainly would not be written publicly. ///