Pride & Lust

The other day I got onto Facebook, and a wonderful friend of mine had this written this on her wall:

“Guys, if you're out driving and see a woman jogging, DON'T turn your head to look at her! She does see you, and she thinks you're a creeper.”

Then I looked at a comment made on it by another friend:

“Girls, if you’re out driving and see a man jogging, DO turn your head to look at him!  Make sure he sees you so that he thinks he’s AWESOME!”

It does not take much to get me thinking on a particular subject, and this comment is all it took to get me thinking again.  Why is it that the same act can promote such a different response from male and female?  I started thinking about my own response.  How have I taken it when I’m out on a run and a woman driving by takes a look at me?  Well, I have to say, I consider it a compliment.

I started thinking about my own response to this, and I started wondering how righteous this response was.  Is it in agreement with the standard of righteousness and holiness that God lays down for us in Scripture.  Some of you might be thinking, “It is just a little look!  Is it really necessary to bring in God?”  Well, YES!  God is the center of ever part of our life.  He is the God of the big things and the God of the small things.  Every thought, every emotion, every second in this world is part of the spiritual war waged between light and darkness.  Whether you think about it or not, this war is always a part of your life, “For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.  We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete” (2 Corinthians 10:4-6).

If every thought is part of the war waged, and we are to take every thought captive to Christ, where does it leave the thoughts occurring when we take a look out the window at the jogger?  What about the person at the beach or just that person walking down the street that catches your eye?  I am not willing to say that it is evil to look.  However, you have to know what is happening when you are looking.  Is lust going on?  “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28).  I know that I have looked at a woman before and admired her beauty and strength apart from any lustful intent, but that is not always the case for people, guys or girls.  It is not always the case for any particular person either.  At some point or another, everyone lusts.  It ultimately comes down to the responsibility of the individual to regulate and take responsibility not to look if lust is there.

Let’s go even further.  It would be naïve of us to believe that this is just a one-way interaction.  As Lauren said, “She does see you, and she thinks you're a creeper.”  The feelings of the person being looked at must be taken into account.  Even if the look of the first is entirely pure, admiration free of any lustful intent, it does not mean it is perceived in that light by the receiver.  If it is not, the looker offends against charity, for it is uncharitable to make another feel uncomfortable by your actions, and I know that I don’t want to make anyone feel that way.

If we are to err on the side of safety and charity, it is just better never to look.  That would make it simple.  However, life is not that simple.  God has made women to be beautiful to men and men to be attractive to women.  Looks are not inherently bad.  If we never looked, it is hard to believe anyone would ever be in a relationship at all, and God instituted marriage from the beginning.  The context of the look is important.  There is a big difference between being drawn to a person you meet at work or church versus hanging your tongue out the window as your drive by.  A look from a car will never amount to anything.  I have heard a lot of love stories, marriage stories, etc., and never have any of them started with, “I was out on my jog, and this person came driving by looking at me…”

So, why do some people like the looks from the people driving by if they will never come to anything?  Honestly, it may be pride.  I may have to call myself out here because I do like the looks.  I also do not think it is just guys who like the looks.  I think there are some women who like being checked out as well, whether they will admit it or not.  I think it just has to do with the person.  


Why do you run?  I don’t run because I enjoy it, though I enjoy it now much more than when I started running.  I run because I have never found anything else that will keep the fat off me like running coupled with eating right.  I run because I want to be healthy, feel good, and look good. If I am honest with myself, looking good is at the top of that list.  Enter pride.  When a woman looks at me, from the car or anywhere else, I do like it.  The only situation which changes that is if she is married, then it makes me sick to my stomach.  If she is single, though, it really does feel like a compliment, but it can also be an occasion for pride, “Make sure he sees you so that he thinks he’s AWESOME!”  Once again, I am not willing to say that any positively received look is fully enflaming the pride of the receiver.  If that was the case, every relationship would include a big side of pride.  I think, once again, it becomes the responsibility of the individual person to make sure it does not become a pride issue.

That is probably a lot to come from two little comments.  As I said, it does not take much to get me thinking on things.